


What They Don't Teach you in Denmark

by Ladadee195



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), PWP, post The Chokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-05 15:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15866220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladadee195/pseuds/Ladadee195
Summary: And a few things they do...A different take on the aftermath of Howard’s return home.





	1. lesson 1

**Author's Note:**

> Right! so, this was my first attempt at writing Howince smut. It was meant to be a one shot but got away from me.  
> I'm not sure how good it is because they did not want to corporate. 
> 
> I was inspired, if you can believe it, but a Johnlock fic.

It was torture plain and simple. 

Howard was only back a week after being gone a whole month and he still hadn’t gotten rid of it. IT being a beard, an honest to goodness beard! One that was well maintained at that! None of that weird beach bum look he had sported while on that nightmarish island. The one he had now was short and neat and made his trademark mustache look like it actually belonged on his face. When Howard had returned Vince had been shocked for a long moment before falling back on the usual banter to hide not only the shock but a healthy dose of arousal. 

Sure he had always been a little attracted to the older man but not like this, never like this. It had been like a punch to the gut to see Howard return with such an obvious statement, one that meant change and acceptance. The stab of arousal and shock had been swiftly replaced by anger, bitterness, and jealousy however. Anger at having been left basically alone, bitterness at why, and jealousy because someone had most likely suggested the beard to the would be actor and Howard had actually listened, taken the advice to heart. It hurt to think that someone else could garner that sort of response and respect while Vince’s good advice had gone ignored for years. Sure his advice usually came after a good natured insult but wasn’t it the thought that counted? It wasn’t as if anything else about Howard had changed either. He still wore hideous out of date clothing and still preferred jazz over sensible music. The only thing the beard really did was make him look older...and more handsome. Vince wasn’t sure how that worked exactly but that didn’t stop him from appreciating the outcome.

His anger had dissipated after the first week, he was never good at staying angry, but he was now only left shocked, jealous, and painfully aroused whenever Howard was in the vicinity. The worst part was that Howard was oblivious to all of it. He probably caught the edge of anger in Vince’s tone sometimes and he probably mistook the jealous comments to mean that Vince was envious of his success as an actor. 

He hadn’t seen much evidence of that just yet anyway. 

Howard completely missed how Vince would sometimes stare at him for to long, or how he itched to find out if that beard was as soft as it looked or if it was scratchy and course enough to give him a nasty beard burn on his thighs. It was maddening and frustrating and even upsetting. He never had this problem before! People lusted after HIM not the other way around and definitely never after his best mate. 

 

Maybe it had been the time apart? They had never spent a month away from each other. Maybe Vince’s emotions were just reacting oddly to the situation? Or maybe he did fancy Howard and his beard a bit, alright a lot. 

Now two weeks after Howard’s return they had reverted back into they’re old routine. Howard didn’t mention what he had gotten up to in Denmark and Vince never once asked about the beard. He knew that Howard expected him too, it had become the elephant in the room. 

It all came to a head one evening just after closing up the Nabootique. After retreating upstairs to the flat, Vince had begun digging through his recent purchases from that mornings shopping spree. Pulling out colorful scarves and blouses to lay on the couch he glanced towards Howard in the kitchen, puttering around as he made them tea. His beard had gotten slightly longer but no less attractive. He continued to stare, wondering again how it would feel, under his fingers, against his face, on his body. After the disastrous kiss on the roof a few months ago he at least knew that the fashion disaster of a mustache felt odd but not unpleasant, he had red mark on his upper lip for hours afterwards. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt something round and hard at the bottom of his shopping bag. Pulling it out he discovered that it was a tin of oils for facial hair. He must have grabbed it while in a cosmetic shop without thinking, perhaps subconsciously thinking that it would be a good gift for Howard. Especially if the beard was indeed here to stay. Giving the tin a once over Vince grinned and bounded over to Howard.

“Got you something” he said in a flirty tone that he hoped came across naturally and not at all creepy. 

“Vince I’m not going to wear whatever glitter monstrosity you brought home” replied Howard without turning away from the counter. There was no malice in the rebuke so Vince went on.

“It ain’t anything glittery-or sparkly!” he added quickly when he saw Howard start to protest that claim “it...it’s for your beard” he explained softly. 

Finally Howard turned with a frown but a curious gleam in his tiny shrew eyes. Out of all the possible outcomes Howard had been expecting when it came to Vince finally broaching the subject this hadn’t been it. Maybe a backhanded comment or two but not this. Not the small circular tin that Vince now held out for him to take. Hesitantly, he reached out to take it but than had a horrible thought that it was a trick, and would do something terrible to him. 

“Whats it for?” he asked, finally taking a hold of it and gripping it gently. 

Vince rolled his eyes “calm down, I said it was for the beard yea? Or did you forget it was there? Its oils, to keep it looking nice and healthy. It's good for your skin and hair follicles and all that” 

At Howards blank look Vince huffed in frustration, grabbed his arm and hauled him into their shared bedroom.

“What are you doing?” asked Howard ripping his arm away, the words ‘don’t touch me’ just on the tip of his tongue but he suppressed them at the last moment however because he could sense that this was somewhat important to the younger man. He watched silently as Vince flicked on the lights, pushed him towards his bed and headed towards his vanity for supplies. 

“Sit, if I’m going to explain this I’m going to show you properly, sit!” Howard did as he was told without comment. Sitting down on his own bed he watched Vince dump different sized bottles and combs beside them before joining him. 

“Do we have to do this now?” he asked in that gentle reasonable tone he sometimes adopted when trying to talk Vince down from something dangerous. Vince sat crossed legged next to him, going through the products he apparently needed. Vince hadn’t meant to start this at all actually. He had planned to give Howard the tin and then leave him to it, but if Howard didn’t even know what it was then it would be a wasted gesture, plus the oil was expensive Vince guessed.

“yes, now hold still” Howard obayed but still looked confused. Opening the tin Vince paused and made eye contact with the older man. “Um, I’m going to have to touch your face Howard, is that ok?” he asked uncertain of the response he would get. Howard blushed at the question, somehow he hadn’t realized that Vince would be doing that, or that he would even ask. 

With a shaky nod he closed his eyes and waited for whatever Vince planned to do to him. He found himself trusting the younger man completely. Vince couldn’t help but stare at Howard’s easy acceptance, amazed by the trust that Howard was suddenly putting in him. Clearing his throat he nodded, remembered that Howard couldn’t see him, than whispered an okay before taking a small bit of oil in his hand. It warmed up fast as he rubbed it between his fingers before finally getting to know exactly what Howard’s beard felt like. 

At Vince’s first touch he felt and saw Howard tense more and release a previously held breath. Keeping steady he gently but purposefully threaded his fingers through the scruff near Howard’s chin before smoothing them upwards along his jawline. He did this two more times, each time pressing slightly harder to insure that the oil penetrated the soft hair to the sensitive skin below. He failed to notice when his focused centered on the feeling beneath his fingers instead of making sure that the oil was applied correctly. He also failed to notice that his breathing had gotten heavy and that his mouth had fallen open in awe. Howard hadn’t and Vince was startled when the others hands came up and slowly stop his ministrations, but he didn’t let go. His large hands covered Vince’s skinny wrists as he moved them away from his face. 

“I think you got it it all in little man” he whispered, his voice seemed loud in the quiet of the room though. His face was red and he certainly looked uncomfortable but he hadn’t moved away “erm, thanks for showing me” he cleared his throat “I’d be rubbish otherwise. Didn’t realize they made this sort of thing” he went on, picking up the tin and reading the back as a way to hopefully break the sudden tension in the room. 

“Why’d you leave Howard?” the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “An why’d you come back? Not that I’m not happy that you did cause I am, but it was a month, a month Howard, it must have been going good yeah? So why’d you come back?” Vince was aware that he was becoming emotional, finally expressing everything he had felt in the past month. Which felt better then he thought it would. Turns out having THAT many emotions drains a person, he wasn’t used to feeling so many things at once. Howard hadn’t answered any of his questions but he was watching Vince with concern

“Is that why you dragged me in here and did something nice? To finally question me about Denmark?” asked Howard in return. He still hadn’t let go of Vince, having moved so that instead of gently gripping his wrists he was now holding both of the younger man’s hands loosely in his. This didn’t seem to distress the older man any, in-fact Vince could feel Howard lightly stroking his thumb over his his knuckles in a sooth gesture. 

“No” the stroking stopped “I really did drag you in here to help you with that” he explained further, gesturing to Howard’s beard. “But while we’re on the subject, you gonna answer my question?” 

Howard sighed and for a moment Vince wasn’t sure if he was going to get an answer at all, but then the stroking continued. “It wasn’t working out” 

“Wasn’t working out? After a whole month you decided it wasn’t gonna work out? Thought you wanted to be a famous actor?” 

“I did”

“So what happened?”

“I missed you alright!? It was going fine but it didn’t feel right without you” Howard confessed, squeezing Vince’s hand briefly before finally letting go. “I had changed a few things while in Denmark but I missed you so I came home.” 

There it was again ‘I missed you’. Vince couldn’t quite believe that, but one thing stuck out in that confession. 

“Changed a few things? you mean the beard?” The question made Howard blush slightly

“Among other things…” the older man went redder and looked away. Vince stared at him.

“You had sex!?” he exclaimed, bouncing on the bed excitedly.

“Sh-shhh!!” Howard flailed at him, trying to cover his mouth, but Vince leaned away with a laugh. 

“You gotta tell me about it!” Vince demanded giddly, Forgetting for the moment the unwarranted amount of psychical attraction he had felt for during the past fortnight. 

“It wasn’t...anything to write home about” explained Howard, going if at all possible redder. Vince was sure the older man could’ve died by now due to the embarrassment he was undoubtedly feeling but Vince wouldn’t let up.

“Oh go on! You gotta tell me?! At least tell me about the girl, was she another actress?! Someone famous?” 

“I will not go into details, but if you must know she was in fact an actress, an extra. We got to talking and one thing led to another and..” he trailed off with a shrug, looking down at his hands. After a moment Vince realized that he wasn’t just embarrassed or ashamed, he was disappointed. 

Vince decided to use a different approach. The excited best friend act didn’t seem to be working for Howard the way it would for any of Vince’s Camden friends. “Not go the way you thought it would?” he asked softly, cautiously, afraid that the wrong question would send the jazz maverick running from the room. Howard remained silent however. “Or did you not know how to-”

“-I’m quite enlightened on the particulars thank you Vince” 

“Then what was the problem?” He was aware that this many questions might seem creepy but he couldn’t help himself. He had to know just what exactly happened and more importantly who it was with. He tried not to think to hard about WHY he needed to know, he just did. 

“It didn’t feel right. It felt...wrong?” he looked so confused it made Vince sad to see it.

“I mean it was your first time wasn’t it? It’s gonna be a little weird” 

Howard looked pained for a moment, resolutely looking anywhere but at Vince “it felt weird, I think because….because it was with a lady” 

They were both silent for a real long time. In reality it was only a few minutes but to Vince it felt like an hour, maybe more. Vince’s first instinct was to make a joke. He had made plenty in the past, but now it didn’t seem funny. 

“So-so you think if it had been with a bloke it would feel right?” Howard nodded silently and Vince suddenly realized his heart was going a mile a minute, he was nervous. He wasn’t sure why, its not like he had any trouble figuring out what he was into. It hadn’t even been a question. One day he just knew that he was bisexual and that was it, no soul searching, no struggle. Howard had always been accepting, maybe that had been why. It was time to give a bit of that back.

Howard was startled when a pair of skinny arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders in a tight hug. Clearing his throat, he hugged back which delighted Vince to no end. They hadn’t done this in so long, even before Howard left hugs were few and far between. It was an odd position, sitting up on his knees while Howard remained seated, but with his chin resting on that broad shoulder he could feel that delightful rough scratchiness from the older man’s beard. That alone was worth the awkward position he found himself in. 

Sighing Vince went to pull away but found he couldn’t go far because Howard hadn’t let him go yet. “Thing is, I’m not sure if it could just be any bloke” it was whispered clearly into his ear before he was finally let go, letting Vince sit back down. “Alex, the girl, the extra, she understood. Told me that I may be interested in something else or someone else, gave me some pointers” 

“Hold on, is she the one who told you to get the beard?” At last he knew the culprit behind the torture! Of course now he didn’t feel as betrayed as he had, knowing maybe why Howard had chosen to keep it. Vince had assumed the advice had come from some know it all in the costuming department. 

Howard smiled, still embarrassed about the conversation but obviously a little more willing to talk now that he knew Vince wouldn’t be making jokes at his expense. “I don’t know about telling me anything, but she did suggest that I looked good with it” 

“Good? You look fantastic! I always said you were good looking you just needed something extra! Seriously it’s well sexy!” Vince realized to late that he had let his mouth run away from him again. Howard was staring at him in wide eyed shock while he tried to think of something, anything, that could cover that slip. The only thing that came to mind were about a dozen jokes, but he knew that those wouldn’t help him in the long run. 

Not even a crimp could save this. 

Vince was pulled from his thoughts when Howard re-took his hands, hoping to calm his racing heart. “You really like it? The beard I mean?” When Vince didn’t answer, Howard merely smiled again and pulled Vince’s captured hands close forcing the younger man to lean forward slightly. “You were getting off on it earlier weren’t you?” he all but whispered in the dwindling space between them, “Don’t think I didn’t notice, when you had your grubby paws all over it?” 

Vince felt his mouth go dry at the sinful way Howard spoke to him. The arousal that had been simmering under his skin for the past two weeks suddenly became a flame. It hadn’t even the been the most provoking sentence in the world, but the implication and the way it was delivered made his blood boil. Swallowing heavily he stubbornly made eye contact and nodded silently. Vince wasn’t about to let Howard have the upper hand in this though. 

Smirking, he pulled his hands free and let them rest heavily on the older man’s thighs. Using their position he levered himself up directly into the other man’s personal space. “So what if I did?” he asked biting his lip for added effect. “You gonna put those famous moves on me? I suppose you learned some new ones from Allie or wotever her name was?” Vince was bating Howard, he knew, but this was starting to become fun. 

“Her name is Alex” murmured Howard “and maybe I will” he breathed “I’ll come at you, like a bullet like a-”

“-Shud up Howard” Vince smirked before surging forward and crushing their mouths together. At first it was just the press of lips, but apparently Howard had taken his advice to shut up by bringing his hands up and threading them through Vince’s surprisingly soft hair and changing the angle so that the kiss suddenly became deeper, more passionate. Causing Vince to hum happily and lean fully into him. 

Just as Vince decided to up the ante by swiping his tongue across Howard’s bottom lip, Howard pulled away with a gasp. Letting his hands fall from Vince’s hair, he rested them on younger man’s shoulders. Gripping them gently as way to anchor himself, he watched Vince intently. 

“Are you sure your...ok with this?”

“Yeah! Course I am. Besides your the one who came out to me and then tried to seduce me, good job by the way. So I thought I better kiss you before you decided to go find some other bloke to get off with, you did better this time, I guess I outta thank Alex for that?” he asked with a cheeky smile. 

“Maybe you should take your own advice and shut up little man” growled Howard pushing Vince backwards onto to the bed, causing the younger man to let out a high pitched yelp of surprize. 

Before Vince could respond Howard was over him, pressing a bruising kiss to his lips again. The feeling of that sought after beard against the soft skin of his face forced a low moan from his throat, it was just to much sensation. It made him arch up and wrap his arms around the Howard’s neck, pulling him closer. A gasp was pulled from him when Howard moved to press bristley kisses along his jaw and down his pale throat. The act made him writhe and thrust his hips up against the hard body above him. Howard respond in kind, pinning Vince down as he thrust back against him. In an instant their erections aligned causing burning pleasure to travel up both their spines. That combined with the insistent lip lock made Vince dizzy, but he didn’t let up, it was to good. 

One of Howard’s large northern hands cupped the back of his head, keeping him close, no doubt messing his carefully coiffed hair. The other hand slid from its position on the bed to his shoulder and down his torso. Fingers splayed over Vince’s warm body as they moved to his hip and caressed the skin where his shirt had ridden up. Finally after another long moment Howard broke away, using the arm under Vince to push himself up enough to look at the younger man properly. They were both heavy lidded and panting for breath. When Howard smiled warmly down at him, Vince smiled back and giggled happily which broke and turned into a surprised gasp when Howard ducked back down and mouthed at his neck and collar bone. Sucking a mark into the pale skin he slowly inched his hand up and under Vince’s t-shirt. Getting the hint, Vince wiggled and tried unsuccessfully to rid himself of this shirt.

Chuckling, Howard sat up again and smirked down at Vince before helping the electro prince out of his shirt. Once the expanse of pale flesh was revealed Howard returned to pressing sucking kisses to the younger mans collar bone, then down his chest to circle rapidly hardening pink nipples. Groaning low in his throat Vince let his hands slip up and into Howard’s hair, clinging to the curls tight, keeping the older man’s head close. 

“Ah fuck I’m really gonna have to thank that girl ain’t I? This is brilliant ‘oward” Vince said roughly, loving the feeling of Howard’s beard on his body. It only got better when Howard moved from his chest and trailed kisses down his belly, lingering on the pink scar he found there, before following the trail of dark hair to the waistband of his black drainpipes. Here he paused and looked up at Vince intensely. 

“What do you want little man?” Howard asked, moving to roughly palm at the growing hardness in his tight pants. Making Vince whine and arch off the bed in a desperate attempt to get more friction. 

“Anythin! ‘Oward please touch me?” Vince begged using his elbows to sit up and catch his breath, glad for the breather. He tried not to shiver when Howard’s large warm hands ran from his ribs down to his hips before sneaking under the jeans. It didn’t take much pleading from Vince for Howard to finally unbuttoned the tight jeans and slowly pull them down far enough to reveal Vince’s little red pants. A small wet patch had formed there, as his erection strained against the tight material. Humming, Howard nuzzled his face against the large bulge, making Vince moan and wiggle in frustration. “Come on Howard, don’t tease me?” 

Humming some more, as if he were going about a chore, Howard gripped the the waistband of the pants and pulled them down along with Vince’s jeans. He roughly tugged them down and off with some difficulty but managed it all the same. Vince’s eager member bobbed up, eliciting a releaved groan from the younger man. The groan only got louder and more drawn out when Howard wrapped a tentative hand around the hard throbbing erection and gave it a stroke before lowering down and laving the tip with his tongue. 

“God…” Vince exclaimed softly, arching up, prompting Howard to force his hips back to the bed less he be choked when he went to actually take the leaking member into his mouth. Staring down at Howard with heavy eyes, Vince tried desperately to stay in control by twisting his fists in the bedding. He desperately wanted to reach down and touch Howard, touch those brown curls, tug and pull on them, but he held himself back in fear that Howard might stop. He satisfied himself with watching the other man intently, just the image of Howard going done on him was enough to send his arousal sky rocketing. Howard had his eyes shut but that almost made the whole thing more intimate. 

The warm wet suction being (shockingly) expertly applied to his cock made him see stars as he was quickly brought close to the edge. “Hm! Ugh, oh O’ward! Oh I’m….I’m gonna...” he wiggled, arching his hips up, spread thighs shaking with the strain of staving off the inevitable orgasm that threatened to explode any second. He lost the fight a moment later when Howard attempted to take him further, almost deep throating him, while moving insistent fingers down to stroke his tightening balls and then further down, running curious fingers over the the furled muscle he found there. 

The resulting orgasm left Vince feeling floaty and weak, he barely registered Howard hovering over his bare form looking worried. “Vince?...Vince you ok?” he asked, gently cupping the younger man’s face. Vince cleared his throat and smiled up at him. 

“Where did you learn that? Was this Alex a blowie expert?” Vince finally asked still feeling the dreamy content feeling one gets after a really good orgasm. He didn’t even care that he was naked while Howard was still clothed, the man still had his socks on! The question caused Howard to blush, actually blush! After what he just did the older man deserved some sort of reward. 

“Well…”he stopped, still looking awfully embarrassed, it was endearing and made Vince beam at him. “You see Alex, wasn’t single. She and her boyfriend apparently have an open relationship. I didn’t even know that people did that sort of thing” It wasn’t a new concept to Vince, he knew plenty of couples who did the same thing. To hear that Howard had been most likely devirginized by one such couple had him excited for what was to come next. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Howard was getting at. Alex’s boyfriend had obviously taught Howard how to give a superb blowie. Vince was going to have to send them both a fruit basket or something. 

He realized belatedly that Howard was still talking. 

“-I wanted it to be good for you, when I...well if we eventually-”

“-Hold on” interrupted Vince “are you sayin that you learned how to do that because of me?” just the idea made butterflies well up in his stomach.

“I learned to do that FOR you. When I realized what I really wanted, I didn’t want to come home and screw it up by being inexperienced. So they helped” explained Howard with a shy smile. Vince couldn’t help smiling back, it was a nice if not odd gesture. Howard was so afraid of messing up that he had ignored his own insecurities and awkwardness so he could prove something to Vince. It would’ve been almost romantic if it hadn’t been also a little weird. 

“Do ya mind if I return the favor?” he finally asked, sitting up so they now faced each other. The question caused Howard to tense slightly, which was ridiculous really since Vince was in front of him, naked and still coming down from a fantastic blowjob which Howard had just given him. 

“If...if you want..” Howard replied going red again but Vince could tell he was definitely interested in the idea if the growing hardness in the older man’s slacks was anything to go by.

“Are you kidding! If I had known you were planning to do this I would’ve jumped you the moment you came back!” 

“I wasn’t planning it” countered Howard “I was just hoping for something is all. The moment I realized that all I wanted was you, I came back hoping that I could...show you” Vince smiled, still completely taken the with the idea. Giving Howard a seductive look he moved forward making Howard lean back until he was against the headboard. 

“You planned it Howard, admit it. You planned on seducing me with an amazing blowie, I guess its a good thing it worked cause now I’m going to do the same, now are you FINALLY going to shut up or not?” 

All Howard could do was nod dumbly. 

Vince grinned toothily up at him. 

“Genius”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated and will definitely make me freak out.
> 
> also I don't have a beta so if you find any typos or spelling errors don't hesitate to point them out, I'm terrible at this.


	2. Lesson 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vince finally gets his hands on Howard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more of the same!

It wasn’t like Vince really wanted Howard to shut up of course, not if he kept saying things like ‘all I wanted was you’ and ‘I missed you’. In-fact Vince was pretty sure there were a few other amazing things that Howard wanted to say, and he would say them all eventually, he always managed to get in the last word more or less. Usually because by that point Vince couldn’t be arsed to continue with whatever argument they happened to be having at the time. 

An because Howard just knew more words. Vince was pretty sure he generally made up most of them. 

Just at the moment however, he needed-no wanted Howard’s complete and total attention. Which wasn’t all that different than what Vince usually wanted. Except now things were different, Vince was riding high just off the best orgasm to date and was excited to return the favor. 

Howard was watching him unsteadily while Vince went to work unbuttoning his shirt. “If I’m going to be naked so are you, don’t think I didn’t notice how eager you were to get me out of my clothes Howard” 

The older man simply smiled shyly and aloud Vince to push the shirt from his shoulders. Here Vince paused and ran curious hands over previously guarded territory, he’d seen Howard topless loads of time of course but he had always been careful not to stare too long. Now he wasn’t just aloud to stare, he was aloud to touch and feel. Warm skin, lightly freckled from being under the sun. He could feel hidden strength, it made him bite his lip in anticipation.  
Sliding forward with a cheeky grin, Vince situated himself comfortably in the other man’s lap. He pressed against Howard so that bare skin touched bare skin -making both men gasp at the sensation. Without a word of warning Vince pressed his lips against Howard’s, smiling when Howard enthusiastically reciprocated. The small kiss evolved from there, becoming deeper and a bit desperate. Howard hadn’t let it get much further earlier, deciding that he would rather focus his attention on more interesting matters. 

With his arms wrapped around broad shoulders, fingers threading through messy curls, Vince angled his head taking over complete control by finally sweeping his tongue into the older mans mouth. Howard responded with a moan, welcoming Vince’s curious appendage. His hands settled on slim hips, brushing this thumbs over prominent hip bones. They stayed in that delightful limbo for a long while. It could’ve been ten minutes, it could’ve been an hour. Vince wasn’t sure and he didn’t care to be frank, It was too good to stop. Breathing heavily through through his nose he finally tore himself away when he started to feel dizzy, only to return again. This time keeping it light and playful, nipping and sucking at Howard’s reddening lower lip. 

When he tired of that he moved on, nuzzling his face against the soft scruff of the other man’s facial hair like he had been longing to do since Howard returned. He could smell the sweet scent of the oils he had just used, and knew without a doubt that the next time he smelled it, it would lead to an embarrassing outcome. Pressing kisses along his jawline, Vince moved down his neck making Howard angle his head to make room. All the while he sighed and hummed in pleasure, gasping harshly when Vince bit down on the soft fleshy area between neck and shoulder. He left a sizeable mark there, then moved onto the freckled collarbone and left one there as well. It felt good to leave his mark, proving that the older man was his. Even though he was immensely thankful for the couple that had taken Howard under their wing. He’d rather not have to fend them off if they came sniffing around.

Howard’s breathing had sped up again at the attention, moving his hands around Vince and running them over his bare back before trailing down to his backside where they stayed, groping and massaging with his big hands. Vince shivered at the contact and let his hands wander as well, smoothing them down Howard’s chest, pausing to finger playfully at his nipples causing Howard to jerk at the unexpected sensation. It made Vince smile as he moved on, down the older man’s belly before settling on the button to his slacks. Which he undid with an excited smile. 

Shuffling down the bed so that he was situated between Howard’s spread and outstretched legs, he unzipped the slacks and begun peeling them down. All the while pressing kisses to his lower stomach and hips, enjoying the warmth and feel of soft skin. Once he had gotten Howard completely out of his slacks he couldn’t help palming and stroking his concealed erection, causing Howard to arch up in pleasure, his whole body seemed to tremble. It made Vince ecstatic to see what he could do to the older man. It didn’t take him long after that to rid Howard of his pants and wrap a surprisingly steady hand around his already leaking member. 

Letting out a gasp at the contact Howard’s hands jerked forward as if trying to stop Vince but then retreated when Vince began stroking him thoroughly. Watching as pre-cum bubbled up, gathering in and around the tightening foreskin. He circled his thumb around the head collecting it and using it to slick his hand. He had the sudden urge to taste it, he had originally intended to of course, draw it out and make Howard lose his mind but he could tell how close he was. The man must have been rock hard the whole time he was attending to Vince. 

With a radiant smile, which quickly turned evil. Vince took the head of Howard’s cock into his mouth. Forcing a low moan out out of Howard who tangled his fingers in Vince’s hair, something he normally wouldn’t be allowed to do but Vince figured it was fine at a time like this. He didn’t tug or pull however, he simply held on. Playing with and caressing the silky strands as Vince worked his magic. 

To be fair, he didn’t have much practice with this particular act despite what people assumed. 

What practice he did have allowed him to fully enjoy the heavy warm weight on his tongue as he attempted to take Howard’s considerable length down his throat. He didn’t make it far before gagging and pulling back to focus instead on the sensitive nerve endings near the head. He could feel Howard squirming underneath him, and he wondered if the previous experience in Denmark had prepared Howard for this as well. Vince could feel Howard’s fingers tightening in his hair as salty fluid leaked steadily onto his tongue, he was close. 

Glancing up he found Howard concentrating hard, eyes squeezed shut, biting his lip. Obviously trying to hold back a stream sounds. That wouldn’t do it all, Vince thought, bright eyes shining mischievously as he swirled his tongue around the head before dipping into the slit at the top to tease more pre-cum to the surface. 

He heard Howard gasp and choke on a moan, hands now tugging at his hair as his hips thrust up violently almost making Vince gag again, but he managed to pull away in time just before warm spurts of cum erupted forth. Pulling away with a breathy laugh, he licked his lips, then mess from the still pulsing cock and then his hand for good measure. Aware that Howard was watching him with heavy eyes, he felt suddenly shy, ducking his head to hide a smile he moved closer again. 

Now that they were both blessedly naked, the sweaty slip and slide of skin felt amazing when Vince pressed up against Howard again to gently kiss and nip at his lips until Howard responded with a low moan of satisfaction. 

Finally pulling away, he licked his lips again and smiled warmly. Howard returned the smile and brought a hand up to brush away hair from his eyes before cupping his face and pressing more sweet kisses to his lips. They couldn’t seem to stop, the need to feel close was overwhelming. 

Vince could feel exhaustion creeping at the edges, so he leant forward and cuddled into the other man. “Better than Denmark?” he asked against sweaty skin, making the question come out muffled. He could feel Howard’s hands rubbing up and down his back, from shoulder to lower back and back again, lulling him, making him relax further. 

He heard Howard sigh deeply, before nodding. “It was because it was with you” 

The answer made Vince smile so he pressed a small kiss to the exposed skin before pulling back and beaming brightly, it was ruined a moment later with a yawn. 

“I think I need a sleepy Howard” he said quietly, snuggling close, not even bothering to move or cover himself.

“We should talk…” Howard suggested weakly but Vince was already dozing lightly against him. He protested slightly when Howard psychically moved him to lay properly on the bed. The supplies that Vince had gathered earlier had all been lost in the blankets or kicked off the bed during their activities -Howard knew Vince wouldn’t be happy about that. The younger man took his beauty supplies very seriously, almost as seriously as Howard took Stationary Village come to think of it. He planned to bring that fact up to Vince at a later date. 

Amongst the blankets he found the previously used tin of beard oils, he still wasn’t sure what it did, his face didn’t feel any different other than being a little warm. Either from linger embarrassment or just the heat of the room, he wasn’t sure. Setting the tin aside on the bedside table he finally settled down next to Vince, who instantly snuggled close, throwing an arm and a leg over Howard’s body like some sort of demented limpet. He was surprised to find that he didn’t mind at all. In-fact he was rather pleased with the outcome of the whole ordeal. 

Without moving Vince he gathered the beige blanket from the end of the bed and covered them it. They could talk later, or in the morning. A glance at the digital clock on the bedside table told him it was ten thirty at night, more than a reasonable hour to turn in, at least for him. He knew that Vince was usually getting ready to head out to a party or a club about now though. He wondered how Vince would feel in the morning, about what had happened and the knowledge that he might’ve missed a party because of Howard. He chose not to think on it anymore. So he brought Vince closer and pressed a kiss to the younger man’s forehead before attempting to sleep as well.

He was out like a light in a matter of seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments and kudos will be stored away in my happy place.


	3. Lesson 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vince and Howard cross that ever present physical boundary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way longer to write then I thought it would but thanks to a good friend to beta its finally finished. 
> 
> woop sexytimes ahoy

Vince woke two hours later, disoriented and confused before remembering all that had happened earlier. Feeling a rush of apprehension settle in his stomach made him hide his face conveniently against Howard’s shoulder. That didn't help any so he pulled away and settled on his back to stare at the ceiling. 

The lights had been left on, which was probably why he had been so disoriented. With a grunt he sat up, carefully reached over Howard, and turned on the lamp before sitting up fully and flicking the switch on the wall so now their bedroom was dimmed nicely. He sighed happily and laid back down to once again stare at the ceiling. It was odd, looking up at their bedroom ceiling from Howard’s bed. He was used to looking up from his side. His side had glow in the dark stars and planets, posters, and a stain from to many water leaks. It was comforting that view, this one was sorta depressing. There wasn't anything fun to stare at while you fell asleep.

He could hear Howard moving about and murmuring in his sleep. They had shared a bed a few times before, if you could call two sleeping bags on the floor sharing a bed. Every once in a while, during Howard’s midnight barber visits, Vince would sneak in a quick cuddle before escaping to his own bed. Fearing that Howard might wake up if he lingered too long, not that he ever did of course. It always seemed absurd afterwards to think that he would wake from that and not having his hair cut.

Even when Vince would come seeking assurance from Howard after a bad nightmare they never shared the bed for long. He was always ushered back to his own bunk once the fear had faded. He never got a chance to just lay there, soak in the warmth, the feel, the smell, even the view -not the ceiling- but Howard’s mostly still form. Sometimes if he couldn’t sleep he would stare from across the room. To be up close like this gave him a new perspective. He was surprised to find that the beard still took his focus away. Even after finally getting to feel it and all, he still wanted more. 

That was a good sign all things considered

Vince had been just a bit afraid that when he finally got to have Howard -let's face facts here, it wasn't really the beard Vince fancied it was the man under it- that he might lose interest all together. It had happened before to a lot birds, and even a few blokes. He didn’t want the same thing to happen again. Not after Howard had intentionally gone beyond his insecurities to make sure that when he and Vince finally took the leap across the physical boundary he would be good, or at least ready. Thing was, Vince hadn’t been aware that he even fancied the older man until after a month apart. 

It seemed absences did in-fact make the heart grow fonder

And he knew from previous lectures that when Howard crossed the physical boundary it would be forever, yet hadn’t he also crossed it with his friends in Denmark? Or did it only count with Vince? 

He couldn’t sleep, not with so many thoughts swirling around his mind tank, god he hated that. He didn’t want to get up though, it was warm and comfortable and he could finally snuggle Howard all he wanted without being told off. So he stayed and stared at the prone figure next to him. 

“I can tell you’re watching me” whispered Howard suddenly, causing Vince to squeak and hide his face again. Laughing lightly at his response Howard turned over to face him with a soft smile. “You should sleep” he suggested softly, amusement and fondness evident on his face, even in the dim lighting 

“Can’t, keep thinking about you” he said, running warm hands over Howard’s chest, pleased that he could now. “About us, about everything you did to get us here. How...surprised I was, still am to find that I absolutely love you” It had to be said at this point, but it made him nervous so he closed his eyes and pressed himself closer. He suddenly felt Howard envelope him in a tight hug, making sure that they were pressed as close together as possible, down the complete length of they’re bodies. It made Vince hum in pleasure. 

“Love you too little man, sorry it took so long to figure it out though” it was muffled but Vince could hear how sincere it sounded and it made him grin. Pulling away he started pressing small kisses to the other man’s lips, he was delighted when they were returned and then deepend. His moans were swallowed as he was pushed onto his back by an enthusiastic Howard. He distently wondered again what else Howard had learnt in Denmark and decided now was a good time as any to find out. 

He was finding it hard though to ask those sort of questions with Howard mouthing at his neck and sucking love bites into his skin, adding to the ones he had left earlier. He found it even harder, figuratively and literally when one of Howard’s hands stroked from his sternum, to his stomach -where he paused to play with the trail of hair- and then further to in-circle his hardening cock without a hint of hesitance. He had to swallow a moan, letting it turn into a whimper as Howard increased his speed and tightened his grip just enough to have Vince’s eyes rolling and closing in pleasure. Apparently Howard was intent on giving Vince a world class handjob, but he wanted more and needed to be know if Howard did as well. 

He had to concentrate hard to find his voice but once he did it was rough and deeper then he expected. “uh ah! Um...hey, hey Howard?” he struggled a moment, thrusting up into Howard’s grip while also trying to gain his attention. He felt more then heard Howard’s answer, muttered into the crook of his neck. “Do- what else did you learn in Denmark?” he asked. There was a hint of playful amusement in his voice. He hoped that the implied suggestion was evident. 

Howard pulled away but never let up the steady motion, though he did slow just enough that Vince finally managed to collect his thoughts enough to focus on him better. 

“I learned a lot in-fact” he replied with a teasing smile before littering little kisses along Vince’s collarbone, producing a series of excited sighs. “What would you like to know?” he asked with a chuckle. Vince could hardly believe that Howard was taking it all in stride, even having fun with it. It wasn’t necessarily fair, Vince had been taken by surprise earlier, and now again at how bloody good the older man was at foreplay. 

“Well, was wondering yeah? If you did anythin else with that bloke beside a blowie?” He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t come right out and ask for a proper bumming like he would’ve with anyone else, but there was something about Howard’s confidence that was throwing him off. 

“I might’ve” his voice was deep, Vince could feel it vibrate against his reddening skin when kissed. “What did you have in mind?” he asked finishing off the near obsessive line of worshipful kisses with a gentle bite to an already abused left nipple. Vince knew that Howard was teasing him, baiting him to say it outloud. It made him groan in annoyance while wiggling and thrusting his hips up into Howard’s light grip around his leaking cock. 

Twisting his hands in the sheets and pillow under his head, Vince squeezed his eyes shut and willed the words to come to him. “Ugh! Oh! Fuck me ‘Oward, an soon cause if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last -ah! Oh fuck- long” The slow steady rhythm of Howard’s big warm hand rubbing and stroking him was slowly and surely bringing him to the edge. Suddenly the sensation was gone. Breathing heavily, Vince’s eyes snapped open and watched as Howard extracted his hand from beneath the blanket and slowly licked the precum from his hand.

“Ask me nicely and I might” replied Howard, calm and collected, throwing Vince off even more. He didn’t even have it in him to do anything else but beg some more. 

“Please! Please Howard, you’ve know idea how much I thought about it the last two weeks, how much I wanted it. How much I wanted you, in me, fucking me, please!” He was babbling at this point. The light stroking restarted but his plea made Howard gasp and for the first time his hand slipped on the up stroke, which prompted Vince to let out a loud gasp at the new sensation. The desperation and lust had grown with each pump of his cock. 

Flailing a hand up, Vince clutched the back of Howard’s neck and dragged him down into a brutal kiss, which turned passionate and loving when they’re tongues met and danced smoothly. The warmth of the kiss and the feel of Howard’s beard and mustache caused a shiver to run down Vince’s spine -all the way down to his throbbing cock. He could feel the knot in his stomach slowly tightening as his climax built. “So close Howard! Wanna...wanna come with you inside me, please?” 

He knew his final plea had the desired effect when Howard removed his hand, flung the blanket off of them, and quickly sat up to hover over him. He even managed not to blush too much when he moved between Vince’s already spread and raised legs. Sliding his hands from knee to inner thigh Howard sighed, attempting to relax and calm himself enough to move on. It made Vince smile as he gazed up at him. Howard was all soft lines, paired with his long hard cock, he seemed to tower over Vince. Instead of intimidating him like he suspected anyone else would’ve, it made him feel safe. 

It made him excited.

Applying pressure, Howard slowly spread Vince’s thighs wider. He started to breath heavily in anticipation from just that act alone. He wondered then why this wasn’t more awkward. He was both exhilarated and content to be in bed with Howard, laid bare and more aroused then he ever remembered being. He wondered if Howard was feeling the same, or if he was emboldened by his previous experience. 

Howard kissed his hairy knee tenderly, and then as if reading Vince’s mind he murmured into the skin. “All teasing aside, your absolutely sure?” he asked, slotting himself between Vince’s legs like a puzzle piece. He was soon pressed close, so close that Vince could feel every inch of him from chest to groin. He was so warm, every time one of them shifted or twitched, skin would touch and Vince would feel an electric tingle race through his skin. He could only nod, unable to voice his certainty do to Howard rocking lightly against him, sliding they’re erections together in smooth movements, making him whine and thrust back. “Good” Howard murmured pressing wet kisses up Vince’s neck, along his jaw and finally his mouth. Vince returned the kisses, groaning at the intense feeling he got when his cock dragged wetly against Howard’s groin. 

Pulling away, Howard sat up again and cast about for a moment before eyeing the tin of beard oil on the nightstand. He grabbed it without a thought and unscrewed the top. Vince watched him curiously as he dipped two fingers into the substance. 

“um...Howard, whatcha doin?” 

“I-I...I read the ingredients earlier, it’s vegan, its perfectly safe to use!” he rattled out, nerves finally getting the better of him “Unless you’d rather I go searching for something more traditional?” 

Vince smirked before shaking his head “no use it, it smells great. I was already gonna be obsessed with it before now might as well” 

Directing a loving smile at him, Howard used the oil to slick up Vince’s throbbing erection, eliciting a shaky sigh from younger man. As the oil warmed, Howard spread it further down past his balls and massaged it into his twitching hole. All Vince could do was relax back into the pillows and sigh. He liked to make it sound like he was a pro at this, people tended to react positively when he acted like he knew what he was doing. The reality of it was that he had only done this once, maybe two times? 

Both times he he was out of it and MAY have had too much to drink. 

Experiencing it now, level headed, sober, and unrushed was almost overwhelming. When Howard’s probing finger finally breached the tight ring of muscle, Vince’s confident act went out the window in a fit of ragged gasps. It didn’t hurt, it was mostly uncomfortable and weird, but he managed to relax when Howard murmured words of encouragement into the skin of his leg. It didn’t take long for Vince to grow accustomed to the feeling, but when Howard applied more oil and slowly added another finger it caused him to whine and shift. 

“Shh, I’ve got you little man, that's it. Your taking my fingers so so well” If Howard sensed Vince’s inexperience he didn’t comment, he just continued to gently and purposefully stretch him. Scissoring his blunt fingers to open him up further, Howard leant closer, nuzzling his face into the soft sensitive skin of Vince’s thigh. His beard rubbed roughly and Vince keened at the sensation. His hips jerked up causing Howard’s fingers to slide deeper which in turn made Vince gasp harshly when the rough fingertips rubbed over a certain spot that made him see stars. 

He couldn’t stifle the litany of noises and sounds that escaped him after that. Not with Howard torturously applying small amounts of pressure against the sensitive bundle of nerves. He only let up when more pre-cum bubbled up and spilled down Vince’s erection to smear wetly against his stomach. 

Though he kept up the steady motion with his fingers he avoided the sensitive area in favor of slipping in his third and final finger. Vince barely felt the stretch. He was much too worked up at that point to really feel the sting of penetration. 

He could only just feel the way Howard spread his fingers out, stretching him just a bit more before thrusting all three in deep, giving that fantastic spot one more whimper inducing stroke before removing himself all together. He felt empty now after being so thoroughly prepared. The odd sensation made him whine. 

“Come on O’ward! I’m ready ain’t I?” He was aware that he sounded like a brat, but he felt wrung out and achy, while Howard still looked smug and effortlessly handsome. Vince was sure that his hair was a proper mess by now, from the activities earlier and having fallen asleep after. 

“Patience is a virtue little man” remarked Howard, quirking an eyebrow at him while fetching a convenient condom packet from the bedside table. His smug look vanished when he fumbled with it awkwardly. Vince was about to take pity on him when Howard finally tore it open with a yell of success that made Vince giggle up at him. 

“You know I’ve never been good with that” replied Vince after a moment, trying to be cheeky but it came out all wrong, sounding whiny and desperate. Howard didn’t seem fazed by his tone but he did smile fondly as he slicked up his neglected erection and fitted himself once again between Vince’s thighs to pepper kisses up and down the younger man’s chest, neck, and face. Ending the barrage of affection with a soft loving kiss on his pouting lips, Howard reached down and hitched his left leg up and over his shoulder for easier access. It made Vince blush slightly to suddenly be exposed, but the embarrassment didn’t last long before Howard -after positioning himself properly- gently and purposefully pressed forward into him. 

For all of Howard’s preparation it still stung, making Vince lose his breath and squeeze his eyes shut.“Fuck, fuck... so big” He was pretty sure out of all of his two previous encounters Howard was by far the largest. Seeing Vince’s obvious discomfort, Howard paused and leant forward to plant a quick kiss on the underside of his jaw. 

“Breath, relax. Just breath” he said softly, trying very hard to stay still and not cause any more discomfort. But the pain of the initial penetration was already fading to a dull throb, and when Vince did as he was told he started to relax. Shifting his hips slightly he felt Howard slip further into him, causing him to gasp harshly. 

He shook his head when Howard paused yet again “n-no don’t stop, I’m alright, just been a while ya know?” he panted, biting his lip hard. The intense feeling was starting to change from pain to pleasure as Howard sunk further and further into him until Howard’s hips settled against his ass. 

They were both breathing heavily now, neither moving, just getting used to the incredible sensations coursing through both of their keyed up bodies. Finally Vince couldn’t stay still any longer and pushed his hips up in an invitation for Howard to move. The movement caused him to clench around the hard length inside him, which made Howard groan loudly and bury his face into the crook of Vince’s neck, clutching tight to his bent knee with one hand and his hip with the other. 

Throwing shaky arms around him Vince held tight and bucked up once again. “M-move Howard, bum me silly” he murmured into the skin of Howard’s shoulder, trying not to giggle too much, but Howard let out his own muffled giggle before he was slowly pulling out and then thrusting forward again just as slowly. The gentleness caused Vince to moan softly, still feeling a slight burn but also the overwhelming pleasure from being stretched and fucked. “Oh...god, yeah that's good” he moaned, suddenly feeling light headed due to lack of oxygen. So he closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of being close to the Howard, being connected like never before. It was thrilling, he could feel his heart going a mile a minute. Due to the rush of adrenaline and love. 

Howard groaned in response and set a slow pace. Languidly thrusting forward and then almost pulling out before thrusting forward again. Making sure that Vince felt every inch of him each time. Each thrust forward had Vince panting and letting out high pitch whimpers. Each withdrawal forced a mewl from his throat. Howard was letting out tiny growls and grunts of pleasure, pressing his face into the crook of Vince’s neck, trying to stave off the inevitable orgasm. 

Vince couldn’t stop the gasps from bursting forth each time he felt Howard’s large shaft penetrate his stretched hole. That combined with the way Howard’s body rubbed repeatedly against his straining red erection pushed him closer and closer to falling apart. 

“Howard, I...I can’t hold on, harder please!” cried Vince, pressing himself even closer. Suddenly cool air washed over him as Howard sat up, letting Vince’s leg fall from his shoulder, pausing his movements momentarily. Vince wrapped both legs tight around Howard’s hips, now able to thrust himself down onto Howard’s cock, moaning erotically at the sensation coursing through his body. 

He let out a squawk of indignation when his hips were grabbed and stopped. The annoyance didn’t last long before Howard was thrusting forward again, this time faster, and harder. Each time he slammed in he performed a slow grind that sent Vince bucking and his head tipping backwards in ecstasy when ever his prostate was rubbed. 

Howard smirked “You like that don’t you?” he asked as Vince squirmed under him. He couldn't answer, all he could do was moan loudly and nod. His moaning only got louder when Howard reached between them and gripped his erection roughly and began jerking him off. Vince wasn’t sure how he managed it, but somehow the rhythm of his hips and hand ended up corresponding, making Vince shudder. It started in his thighs and traveled throughout his body until, tensing and arching he came with a cry. Creamy cum gushed forth, making a mess of his stomach and chest. Howard groaned, feeling Vince’s inner muscles clamp around him. He managed four shaky thrusts before he too was coming, filling the condom with five powerful jets of cum. 

Collapsing forward, Howard laid against Vince, smearing the mess between them. Coming back to himself Vince breathed deeply, still feeling the tingling aftermath of his orgasm flowing through him. “Hmm O’ward….can’t breath” he moaned, starting to feel slightly smothered by their sweaty proximity. Howard removed himself without question, slipping out of Vince and rolling to the side until they could both breath easier. While Vince tried to calm his pounding heart, Howard removed the condom -making a face as he did so- and disposed of it in the waste basket beside the bed. 

Neither of them spoke for a long while, a glance at the clock told Vince that it was going on two am. Grabbing his hand, Howard pulled him close into a weak but loving hug. Relaxing against him Vince closed his eyes and licked his dry lips. 

“So” another deep sigh “Did, did you learn anything else in Denmark?” he asked his voice sounding rough and over used. He longed for a drink but felt too tired to move. 

“I learned how to say thank you, no and yes, oh they don’t have a word for please. Also they have a very educational museum dedicated to vikings” replied Howard seriously, fiddling absently with Vince’s hand, lacing their fingers together while Vince snuggled against him with a half hearted hum of interest. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Is it bigger than a bread box?” 

“Hmmm, no”

“Does it make noise?” 

“Think its suppose to. I’ve never actually heard one” 

Howard gave him an unimpressed look as he poured them both a cup of tea to go with they’re toast. “I give up” he said sitting down opposite Vince.

“A blue clock!” he laughed at Howard’s continued look of annoyed fondness “I know, I can’t help it, it just appears in there” he explained tucking into his nutella drenched piece of toast. A thumping on the stairs indicated the return of Naboo and Bollo, returning from whatever shamen business they had attended. 

“Alright? See you two didn’t burn down the place yet” 

“Aww Naboo, you know it was only a little fire the last time” said Vince with a grin 

“Yeah Naboolio, have a little faith in us” Howard added sipping his tea, but Naboo seemed to have disregarded both of them to stare at Vince. 

“Wot? Do I got shit in my face?” asked Vince, fearing stray chocolate smears. 

“Wots that!?” exclaimed Naboo -somehow still in his normal monotone cadence- pointing at Vince in the general direction of his neck, causing Howard to choke on his tea and Vince to slap a hand to the rubbed red skin of his neck. 

“Oh um...my new feather boa gave me a rash” lied Vince quickly, wishing desperately for a scarf of any kind. 

Meanwhile Howard was trying to clear his breathing passage enough to laugh.


End file.
